Environment Man: April 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

Earth Day: Eman On Mall With Lady Gaga & Charlie Sheen?

Earth Day On The National Mall Environment Man To 'Blow The Roof Off The Sucka" Rumors are running rampant in the Nation's Capital that Eman will perform on Earth Day with Lady Gaga and Charlies providing backing vocals and instrumentation. Telephone. Winning. Bad Romance? Regardless, Eman tells us that he is 'ready to go.' E says that he intends to 'rock Lincoln in his memorial.'

The rumored set list includes Eman's mega hits "Lisa Jackson" and "Global Warming.' His ten minute set will include these numbers and Eman just might perform "Toxic Waste." Eman's spokepeople have shared that Eman is saving his super hit "Acid Rain" for a nighttime gig somewhere at one of Washington, DC's underground venues.

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Born To Run. Fly. And Swim Too

Born in the wilderness, spawn of lightning and the darkness of night. Raised by wolves on ice flows too cold for polar bears. I'm half eagle and half shark. I can lick my weight in bobcats. I've plowed virgin lands with tornadoes and emptied rivers and lakes with my thirst. Once while sailing around the world, I discovered a short cut and my passport requires no photo. As a young man, I taught sailors how to drink, cuss and love their women. I once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds. I teach German Shepards how to bark in Russian. I have won the lifetime achievement award...twice. I am Environment Man.

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Do Not Ignore Hitlers

The various parties of the Weimar Reichstag ignored him, hoping he would go away...He didn't...

Neville Chamberlain and the other leaders of the League of Nations ignored his trampling of the Treaty of Versailles, hoping he would go away...He didn't...

Chamberlain ignored the Anschluss of Austria and the annexation of Czechoslavakia, hoping he would be appeased...He wasn't...

The Russians ignored his history and joined him in the rape of Poland, hoping he was satiated...He wasn't...