Environment Man: What To Say To Yourself When You Find Yourself Whining

Born To Run. Fly. And Swim Too

Born in the wilderness, spawn of lightning and the darkness of night. Raised by wolves on ice flows too cold for polar bears. I'm half eagle and half shark. I can lick my weight in bobcats. I've plowed virgin lands with tornadoes and emptied rivers and lakes with my thirst. Once while sailing around the world, I discovered a short cut and my passport requires no photo. As a young man, I taught sailors how to drink, cuss and love their women. I once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds. I teach German Shepards how to bark in Russian. I have won the lifetime achievement award...twice. I am Environment Man.

Disclaimer

The contents of this page do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. This webpage is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may freely distribute this URL but you may not make a profit from it or include it in any commercial publications without written permission from the author. All content in this website, including all text, images, html is protected under United States and Canadian copyright laws, and no person it allowed to copy any content off this website without written permission from Website Network. Copyright (c) 2005 Website Network LLC. Plagiarism/theft of content from this site is prohibited. Images shown are slightly enlarged to show detail. This website makes no guarantees concerning the accuracy or completeness of any of the information contained on this site. This film has been modified to fit your screen. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Hand wash only. Tumble dry on low heat. Handle with care. Do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate. Do not microwave. Your mileage may vary. Beware of dog. Mind the gap. Severe tire damage may occur. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. All offers are void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Subject to credit approval. Tax not included. This page is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumed full liabilities. Not responsible for any lost or stolen data. Patent pending. A registered trademark. Toll rates may apply. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. An equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Sorry, no COD's. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No Canadian coins. No diving. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No kidding. Employees must wash hands before returning to work; Los empleados deben lavar las manos antes de volver al trabajo. No stopping or standing. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized web developer. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Current FCC regulations limit speed of 56K modems to 53Kbps. Keep away from sunlight, pets, open flames, moisture, and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. As seen on TV. You need not be present to win. Employees and their families are not eligible. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. No preservatives added. Federal law provides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of this material. Do not feed the web developers, nor put hands near their cage. Do not tap on glass. May explode or leak and cause burn injury if disposed of in fire or disassembled. Keep out of reach of children. Website is non-toxic, but should not be taken internally. One size fits all. Any reproduction, retransmission, or rebroadcast without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. Refrigerate after opening. In closed-caption where available. For recreational use only. Set phasers on stun. Bridge freezes before highway. If rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near flammable or magnetic source. Do not use elevators in the event of an emergency. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushin may be used as a flotation device. Federal Aviation Administration does prohibit breakdancing in the aisle. Smoking a printout of this webpage may be hazardous to your health. Text and graphics used on this page were made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. No animals were used to test this page. Do not eat the yellow snow. Your call may be monitored for quality-assurance purposes. Do not expose to rain. No user-serviceable parts are contained within. Remove your refrigerator's door before placing your fridge on the curb. Preserve nature, wear a helmet. Actual weight loss may vary. Do not take this medication if you have an enlarged prostate. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Slippery when wet. Must be 18 to enter. Possible penalties for early withdrawl. Valid only at participating websites. Break glass in case of emergency. Avoid alcoholic beverages while viewing this website. Because I said so. Close cover before striking. Consult your physician before use. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Warrantee and disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, damage from improper or unauthorized repair, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, knives, sticks and stones), or careless drop-kicking. Discontinue use of this website if you encounter tingling, itching, dizziness, slurred speech, or coma. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle, watercraft, or aircraft. Other restrictions may apply. Valid within the continental US only. Not valid in Tennessee. All connections are logged. All sales are final. Not valid with any other offer. May not be redeemed for cash. No trespassing. This side up. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. If symptoms persist, seek medical attention immediately. All terms subject to change without notice. If something offends you, lighten up and get a life, and move on. Doh!

Do Not Ignore Hitlers

The various parties of the Weimar Reichstag ignored him, hoping he would go away...He didn't...

Neville Chamberlain and the other leaders of the League of Nations ignored his trampling of the Treaty of Versailles, hoping he would go away...He didn't...

Chamberlain ignored the Anschluss of Austria and the annexation of Czechoslavakia, hoping he would be appeased...He wasn't...

The Russians ignored his history and joined him in the rape of Poland, hoping he was satiated...He wasn't...

Environment Man

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What To Say To Yourself When You Find Yourself Whining

No comments: