Will Lady Gaga Go Green With Environment Man?

Rumor has it that Eman, left, and Lady Gaga, right, have been cutting some monster tracks at Electric Ladyland Studios. Trying to maintain secrecy, Eman and Lady Gaga have been keeping a low profile in order to concentrate on the songs and videos. Clearly this collaboration will be the hottest thing to come out of Gagaland ever (if the rumors are real). Eman is attempting to enlist Lady G to join the fight against global warming. Our spies tell us that the duo are rerecording Eman's monster video "Global Warming/Climate Change." With Gaga's presentation and Eman's imagination, it will have to be something to behold.

Just as Lady Gaga was going to do some opening shows for Michael Jackson at London's O Arena, so too, we are hearing that Eman will do some opening sets for Gaga. Just one or two songs. Eman likes to get in and get out. It is rumored that Eman will rework "Susie Senstive" to "Lady Gaga" as an opening set song. And before you ask, there is no romance swirling between these two. I have special access to Eman and he has told me that he is committed to his chastity and I know he is not interested in marrying. Although our spies can neither confirm nor deny that TMZ paparazzi have photos of him consorting with Serena, Sandra and Elin around Tinseltown. Regardless, I can't wait to hear the track(s), see the video(s) and see the live gigs. This team will surely 'blow the roof off the sucker.'

Book Eman Today

Environment Man is available for gigs. His 10-minute, 3-song set is the perfect supplement to your environmental or energy-themed event. Agent: Patricia Green

His current set list is viewable below:

Environment Man Wins Oprah's "Your Own Show" Search

Oprah's Search for the next big star via her "Your Own Show" promotion has ended with the selection of Environment Man to host "The Never Ending Adventures of Environment Man." The show will run on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) at 11 p.m. starting on January 1, 2011. Eman entered his video in the 'Wildcard' category and worldwide reaction was overwhelming. Millions of video views and votes put Eman over the top.

Oprah and reality TV super producer Mark Burnett joined forces in search of the next big TV star. They believe Eman's big personality and big dreams for himself produced the chutzpah that gave him the BIG BREAK. EMan states that, "this is the chance of a lifetime to host my own TALK show...on OWN. I know I have "IT" and now I can show "IT" to the world." The voters have spoken and Eman cannot wait to share his adventures around the world with his fans around the world.

"The Never Ending Adventures of Environment Man" will also feature The Ecology Band.

For more information contact Patricia Green. She is handling all bookings.

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Disclaimer: This is a spoof. It is a goof and internet abuse and a pathetic attempt at shameless self promotion. Hopefully this disclaimer will satisfy Oprah's legal team.

Happiness Staggering On Down the Street, Dressed in Red

And lately, by the Tavern Door agape,
Came shining through the Dusk an Angel Shape
Bearing a Vessel on his Shoulder; and
He bid me taste of it; and 'twas--the Grape!

The Rubaiyat

By Omar Khayyam

Bill Cosby Describes Environment Man's Early Years

Lets see now if I recall this correctly......

Eman, above, was found as a child in the forest after a meteor hit the Island of Catalina (the source unknown).. He lived as did most of the spoiled rich children there did but he knew early on that possessing super powers, which he could not reveal, made him somewhat different & by necessity aloof from the other spoiled rich children.

Having lettered & scored in every sport in high school & went on to score w/ classmates & every other girl @ school....with few challenges left he went on to college where he decided to take on the ultimate challenge... Change American environmental policy..

& the rest is history...................

Environment Man on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

And singing the Stone's-inspired "Santa Monica Pier" at the Santa Monica Pier

Environment Man Sings "Global Warming" (Climate Change)

The Melting Ice
Rising Sea Level
Could Be The Devil
Increased Smog
Described On Your Blog
The Polar Bear
You Have To Care
The Melting Ice
Will We Burn More Coal
I've Told You Twice
We Have To Be Bold
CHORUS: "Global Warming, Climate Change"

Environment Man Performs "Suzie Sensitive"

Morpheus Schools Neo

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

-Morpheus, The Matrix

Environment Man Sings the Nuclear Power Song

Do These Types of Environmentalists Drive You Crazy?

They sure do drive me crazy.

Large Hadron Collider Seeks Higgs Boson [and Eman?]

Physicists will collide protons in October in a supercooled magnet tunnel tube that is 17 miles around and 350 feet below the borders of Switzerland and France. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN)[don't ask why the acronym does not fit the organization name]. The facility cost about $6 billion to build. It is funded and built in collaboration with over two thousand physicists from thirty-four countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories. Remember the USA cancelled its planned Superconducting Super Collider in Texas.

It is theorized that the collider will produce the elusive Higgs boson. The verification of the existence of the Higgs boson would be a significant step in the search for a Grand Unified Theory, which seeks to unify three of the four known fundamental forces: electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force, leaving out only gravity. The Higgs boson may also help to explain why gravitation is so weak compared to the other three forces. In addition to the Higgs boson, other theorized novel particles that might be produced, and for which searches[4] are planned, include strangelets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and supersymmetric particles. (Wikipedia)

Golfing Environment Man Does 72 Holes in 2 Days

May. Massanutten Resort. I played 36 holes of golf each day for two days. Did not think I could do it but I managed. 18 holes in the morning. Lunch. And then 18 holes in the afternoon. Massanutten Resort is nestled in the Appalachian Mountains and is also a ski resort.

I played four unique courses:

1) Woodstone Meadows At Massanutten Resort

2) Mountain Greens At Massanutten Resort

3) Heritage Oaks Golf Course

4) Packsaddle Ridge Golf Club

Packsaddle Ridge Golf Club was a relatively new course and was clearly the most interesting. Some rich guy bought the area, designed and built the course. It has a cliff hole par 3 that is breathtaking.

Although I played horribly, it definitely helped me for the rest of the golfing season.

Eman Profile - Post Ironic

Environment Man is the epitome of the post-ironic 21st century American cultural attitude. He's completely taken the entire history of American mass entertainment from country and western to Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders From Mars and the quirkiness of anti deep ecology environmentalism and melded it into a character that is completely contemporary.

Eman is pictured at right in Gort battle helmet with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the State Department.

Photo: Slowhand, Political Groove

What To Say To Yourself When You Find Yourself Whining

Fredo Corleone:

"It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!

Listen Now

Environment Man & The Ecology Band

The "Acid Rain" album dropped 24 years ago but is still a smash hit. Environment Man wrote and performed some of his best material back in the 20th Century. And if it was good in the past it is still good. Sit back, relax and go back to the future with one of the greenest artists in the history of music. It is now. It is always. It will be...................Environment Man. (Click Below)

ENVIRONMENT MAN & THE ECOLOGY BAND

On My Space Music Site

"I Could Have Been A Contender"

"You don't understand. I could have had class. I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody. Instead of a bum, which is what I am - let's face it."

Roy Batty Upon Approaching Death in "Blade Runner"

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

E-Man : Superhero For Justice

My name is Environment Man, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Green Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, God Almighty. Father to a great son, husband to a future wife. And I will have my justice, in this life or the next.

U.K. Xyborg's View of American Violence

"For all the fratricidal proclivities which continue to drown Black Americans in the Red Sea of their own blood, what peculiar psychopathology can be held to account for the preponderance of white American males in the puzzling phenomenon of the Church, School and Mall Mass-Shooting Spree? Indeed, what exactly is afoot with that self-immolating mongrel better known as an ‘American’ and who, for all of his delusional presumptions to offer enlightenment to our ever-dimming World, finds himself irretrievably prone to the annihilation of his own?"

~ XYBØRG 15 December 2007